When the kids were little, travel was straightforward, if not exactly “easy.” You knew what a trip cost, whether the kids were two years old and rolling into Disney World for free or 15 and paying adult prices at many attractions. You also knew who was paying for it all, including the hotel, food and travel: The Bank of Mom or Dad (or Both).
As the multigenerational travel trend grows, with 57% of travelers taking a multigenerational trip, according to one RoadScholar.org survey, vacationing with adult children raises cost questions you may not have considered. According to another travel survey from CIT Bank, 34% of Americans polled said parents should cover their adult children’s costs on vacation. That number rises to 42% for Gen Z.
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New Travel Trend: Adult Children Paying for Parents
Becky Miller, general manager at Sundial Beach Resort and Spa on Sanibel Island, FL, said she’s seeing a different trend. “In the past, it was often the older generations, grandparents, who are often baby boomers, who drove the stay. They planned, booked and paid for the family’s trip. Today, we’re seeing many more of the 2nd and 3rd gen planning and booking and sometimes paying for grandparents to join.”
This arrangement can have many benefits for all generations. It allows retired grandparents, who may be on a fixed income, to take the trip, while giving parents of young children a chance to relax a bit during the vacation.
“Grandparents will often babysit or entertain kids. They might order poolside pizza one night so that the kids’ parents can enjoy a date night or take care of the little ones during nap time while parents do something active that might not have been possible if they were alone with their little ones,” Miller said.
Everyone wins when older children can cover vacation costs for their Gen X or Boomer parents. But, just as frequently, Gen X parents foot the bill for their young adult children on trips.
Which way should the cost split go on a multigenerational vacation? Or should every family unit pay for themselves?
Paying the Way for Your Adult Children
Matthew Lucchetti, a Long Island, NY, dad of three kids, ages 18, 21, and 26, recently treated his family to an all-inclusive vacation to Punta Cana.
“This was our ‘big trip’ for the year,” he said, adding that he usually brings the family to Disney World and the kids don’t pay for that, either.
“My daughter is 26 years old,” he said. “She’s never paid for a hotel room or anything. She does pay for things for herself at the park. She’s also very generous and will pay for family meals.”
Lucchetti still covers everything for his youngest son with no expectations. His 21-year-old, like the oldest daughter, has a job and has started to contribute if he wants something for himself when they travel. Lucchetti said he sees a day when everyone is covering their own costs. But he’d also like to continue treating his family – and even, someday, their spouses and children – to vacations for as long as he can.
“Spending time with your children and having children that want to spend time with you is a blessing I take very seriously,” he said. “If I can have these one or two weeks forever, that I get to go away with my children, I would love for that to continue. As long as I have the means, I will do it.”
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Younger Generations Often Feel ‘Forced’ to Travel
The Lucchetti family still enjoys their family vacations, but that’s not the case with all families. One-in-five millennials (22%) and Gen Z (21%) surveyed by CIT Bank said they felt forced into a family trip. For millennials, they felt coerced into a trip when there was no specific purpose, while Gen Z felt forced to go to concerts, festivals or sporting events. This pressure can lead to financial stress, especially if the younger generation is expected to foot their portion of the bill for a trip they don’t want to take.
Communicate Plans
Even if adult children are looking forward to a trip, everyone’s finances are different. If you expect adult children to pay a portion, be clear about it upfront. Give those who are earlier in their careers more time to save for a trip if you don’t plan to pay for it.
“Discuss and plan finances well in advance of the trip,” Miller said. “Often, it’s easiest for whomever is leading the planning to initiate that discuss, outlining before they even leave who is covering what.”
Also, decide how you’ll share costs, whether it’s by exchanging cash, person-to-person digital transfers like Zelle or Venmo, or separate checks whenever possible. Consider using a cost-splitting app to cover group costs (like an Airbnb or hotel room), groceries, or meals that are on a single restaurant check.
Find Ways to Save
Whether you’re covering all the costs or the whole family is chipping in, looking for ways to save can alleviate the financial burden for everyone. Lucchetti said he often books an Airbnb for his family and cooks meals to save money.
“We also drive to a lot of places, and that saves airfare costs,” he said.
It’s About the Memories, Not the Money
For parents who have the means, covering costs for a family vacation reduces the hassle of splitting bills or determining how much everyone owes. It also eliminates a source of stress for adult children who may have a tighter budget and be worried about paying for their share of the trip.
As your children grow, it might be their turn to reciprocate at some point. “Europe is on our travel list. I guess I’ll have to figure out if I’m paying for them or they’re paying for me,” Lucchetti joked.
Ultimately, though, years from now, your kids aren’t likely to remember who covered the airfare or how you split dinner, as long as you avoided conflicts by communicating expectations in advance. They will, however, remember the laughter, the togetherness, and the opportunity to spend time with you as the parent-child relationship evolves.
“It’s a blessing to have your children want to vacation with you. Creating those memories is what life is all about,” Lucchetti said.
