Many people struggling with finances are constantly worrying about how to pay for their monthly costs, often living paycheck to paycheck while also strategizing about establishing their financial futures.
Personal finance author and radio host Dave Ramsey explains that there are sometimes very tricky personal relationships involving money that need to be addressed.
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When these financial challenges involve family expectations, they can be emotionally difficult in addition to the financial stress they can cause.
One recent seeker of advice asked Ramsey about just such a dilemma he was trying to confront.
“Dear Dave,” a man identifying himself as Ronald wrote to Ramsey, in an email sent to TheStreet. “I’m trying hard to get control of my money and get out of debt, but I had a situation come up the other day, and I really don’t know what to do.”
“I’m one of four brothers, and our parents’ fiftieth wedding anniversary is early next month,” he explained. “My two oldest brothers got together and made plans for a party without consulting the rest of us. They want everyone to chip in $1,000 to help pay for things.”
Ronald briefly explained his financial concerns in an effort to clarify his feelings on the subject.
“I love my mom and dad, but the only savings I have is $1,000 in my beginner emergency fund. Will you tell me how to address this situation?”
Ramsey was very clear about his thoughts on issues involving money and family.
Dave Ramsey says some financial pressures are out of line
Ramsey wasted no time explaining why the advice-seeker should feel no obligation at all in this circumstance.
“I’m going to be blunt here, okay?” Ramsey wrote. “Since you weren’t asked about any of this ahead of time, and had no say in anything, fair would be for you and your brother who weren’t consulted to pay zero. Zilch.”
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These things can be complicated and involve some difficult decision making. Ramsey discussed them briefly and with an opinion that provided some insight into his thought process.
“Planning something that expensive without consulting everyone involved well ahead of time — and expecting them to lay out $1,000 without warning — is way out of line,” he wrote.
Then Ramsey addressed the emotional element of how family can sometimes make finances feel more difficult than they otherwise would with less personal attachments.
Dave Ramsey speaks with TheStreet about personal finance issues. In a talk with an advice-seeker, Ramsey has some important words about family expectations regarding money pressures.
TheStreet
Dave Ramsey discusses one way to handle the money discussion
Ramsey explained that one can approach this challenge with some honest communication.
“Don’t let your older brothers lay a guilt trip on you, either,” he wrote. “This has nothing to do with how much you love your parents, being greedy or anything like that. It has everything to do with consideration and communication, or in this case, a lack of these on their part.”
The personal finance coach offered advice on next steps that might be taken to inform the other family members about the financial considerations being confronted.
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“If I were you, I’d let your oldest brothers know exactly what your financial situation is like right now,” he wrote. “Explain what you’re doing and why you’re doing it, then let them know in a nice, but firm, tone you’ll give them whatever you can scrape up, but you won’t be chipping in anything close to $1,000.”
Ramsey closed with another piece of his characteristic stark advice.
“Oh, and I’d tell them next time they hatch up a big, expensive plan like this, to check with all their brothers way ahead of time.”
“Best of luck, Ronald,” Ramsey wrote. “I’m sorry you have to deal with this.”
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