Elon Musk spoke at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) on Thursday, giving a strange and often inarticulate on-stage interview to Newsmax presenter Rob Schmitt. Schmitt was all smiles and enthusiasm, and managed to steer Musk through the half hour, never pausing to look back on the obvious logical inconsistencies, various falsehoods, and mathematical errors that littered the interview. He even did a decent job of keeping the entire timeslot from devolving into internet memes, although he couldn’t stop Musk from loudly pronouncing “I am become meme.” Still, the CPAC crowd ate it up. 

The following is a transcript created from CPAC’s own livestream of the event. This is, I emphasize, not a parody.

Flashing lights, large screens ablaze with animated graphics reminiscent of the oughties. The CPAC logo spins around as generic rap-rock blasts across the crowd. 

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for the DOGE update. Please welcome Newsmax host, Rob Schmitt. 

Schmitt: Man. That is a big crowd. And they are not here for me. 

Crowd cheers

Schmitt: How you guys doing? Nice vibe this month, right? After the best month we’ve ever had. Nice to see …

Read the full story at The Verge.

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