Most Americans can’t stand discussing parents’ finances, debt and wills.
We’ve all been there — one minute you’re laughing over drinks and, the next, someone brings up their savings plan or the cost of the evening out and the mood visibly chills.
Money-related conversations with friends can get awkward really fast and that is doubly so if one person in a group of friends earns significantly more or less than the others.
According to a recent study conduced by OnePoll commissioned for finance startup Questis, more than half of Americans consider finances to be a “taboo” topic of conversation.
Why Are We So Scared To Talk About Money?
Most don’t know how this longstanding “don’t talk about money” social code came to be — out of the 2,000 adults surveyed, 81% did not know why finances are often considered a cultural no-no.
People are particularly ill-at-ease discussing their parents’ finances, debt and wills, a respective 51%, 45% and 43% consider these to be the most controversial money topics of all.
Many go to great lengths to avoid bringing up that which should not be named. But 28% would, when given the choice to talk about their finances, rather sit through two hours of traffic. Another 27% would prefer to speak in front of a large audience.
Questis
While most are particularly uncomfortable discussing money at work, 63% of those surveyed also said they would never discuss finances at the family dinner table.
Money is often a double-edged sword in that those who earn less may feel ashamed, and 58% of respondents admitted to faking their financial position on social media to appear more stable. Those who earn or have more may be embarrassed around friends who don’t.
“Having open and nonjudgmental financial conversations can make such a difference for people because everyone does money differently,” Dr. Martha Menard, head of financial coaching at Questis, said in a statement.
What Will it Take to Get People to Talk About Money?
But despite the lack of conversation, the discussion does not mean the problem isn’t there: Another survey of 2,000 Americans found that the average American worries about money six times a day, while for millennials that number goes up to seven.
While recent pushes for salary transparency have been making the rounds (half of employed respondents said they secretly wish they knew how much their colleagues earn), change in how Americans talk about money has been slow in coming.
More than 60% said they’d be more willing to discuss money with those who are open about their situation, while another 64% said they would talk about money if it help others feel more confident.
There is, of course, a big difference between talking about money with people you barely know and those you’re close to — 45% of respondents said they’d only consider it okay to talk about how much they earn after marriage, cohabitation and engagement.
While 35% of respondents said they’ll feel more comfortable with these conversations when they have more money, waiting to start earning more may be the biggest mistake of all as 66% said they learned about finances by making mistakes.
“Being able to get on the same page with shared financial goals can make it easier to make the necessary changes that will help you reach those goals,” John Tabb, founder and CEO of Questis, said in a statement. “It can improve communication in other areas of the relationship too.”
